Another day

I know that if I can believe anything in this crap fest of a worl is that Jesus loves me. He doesn't have to mind you and he takes care of me. Some of you would say who gives a fluke ( I don't curse or at least I try not to) but it isn't a religion. A religion is a ritual that's done over and over because you grow up being told that if your a good boy and girl and eat your veggies you'll play harps all day on some cloud. I would just like to say that's bull. See this is a friendship with a creator, a spirit, someone who loves us enough to watch over us, bless us, and die for us to save the souls e take for granted. I know people don't care and some want to be assholes with nothing better to do but down me when I make no comment or opinion of their lifestyles.If that's your goal here then go somewhere else.
But yes I do love him he is my best friend.which is why I feel bad for what I do to myself. This time I went about 22hours with no food. My weigh didn't change which made me depressed. Again it's not about how I look although it's how it started. I'm afraid to step on it again. I had a 32oz cup of tea which would explain the water weight but will depress me more either way. Part of me wants to die part of me just wants thinness another part just wants normality.but people in Hell want ice water.